How I Wish...

Woke up in the morning and i expected a few things..How I wish it could happen..I was hoping to wake up on my own bed..Walk to the kitchen and look at what my mom is cooking and she will ask me this same question usually,"da bangon da fi?".And I will reply,"da lama dah."She will give this slight grin and will ask me to go and bath,wake up the rest and i will do just that...afterwhich,i will help her prepare breakfast..after everybody is ready,my father will ask me,"ifi keluar tak nari?",then i will reply,"tak tau.."Then he will ask me to help my mum with all the chores.I missed doing chores back at home..I wish my parents could forgive me for the wrongs that I have done.I just want to be home.It hurts when u go to ur gramps house to have a rest and ur nephew goes,"asal kau balik?gy berambus ar kau dengan kawan2 kau.buat ape kau balik?susahkan orang.mabuklah,tattoo lah.berambus arh kau setan."It hurts sia deep inside.He is only 6 years old sia and he is already saying that to me.He spits,kick,spray water,throw heavy things down at me and keep saying all those hurtful words..How I wish I could turn back time sia,i just want to be at home.Back there at my gramps house,even food was scarce.Im like a stranger sia in the house,I had to find my own food and money.Im Not feeling how a teenager should feel and enjoy.Food at my gramps house was only for 5-6 people during weekend.and only for 5 people during weekdays.and there is 7 people staying.who is number 7?it is me.Fuck.If this i the life i have to go through until i die,i need a surviving list.a new heart probably cause it has been wounded ever since it was born together with me.Let me prove to them I AM not who they think i am.i can b successful.Just watch out.I can be better or probably the best.